I found out two days ago that someone close to me has cancer. The person who told me is someone I love very much, and the pain their face was the most heartbreaking thing.
I don’t know how to help this person, as they aren’t the person with cancer but are very, very close to that person, much more so than I am.
Cancer terrifies me – I know people who’ve had it and survived, and I know people who’ve had it and are no longer here. It doesn’t give two shits who you are or where you’re from or how loved you are, it just exists and keeps existing. Sometimes it’s conquered and sometimes not, but the battle against it is so incredibly hard, emotionally, mentally, and physically. It scares me so much that this person has kept this to themselves for as long as they have, but they don’t know that I know so there’s absolutely nothing I can do for them. The person who told me is the one I have to help, or comfort, or whatever the hell it is I need to do to make sure they’re ok.
I’m not sure how to help – when I was them I was a lot younger and while it was awful it was happening to 14 year old me, not 18 year old us, and so it was all a little bit different. It was scary and sad but not this, so I just feel very useless right now.
I hope that continuing to just be me around this person helps them, because I know normalcy is so important at times like this when everything seems so very up in the air.
To be honest, it’s all very shit but it’s going to be ok, it has to be. I am far too stubborn to let people I love get hurt, it’s just not gonna happen more than it has now.